And, because I felt it was poor taste to fill the “drive-by update” with bullets, we’ll be using friendly, organized numbers this Wednesday.
1. I’m still alive. (I am, right? I haven’t had time to even think this through in the past couple days. Yea, this pounding headache MUST mean I’m alive!)
2. Yea, entering day 3 of pounding headache. Joy!
3. I think said pounding headache is from the daily shooting up I’ve been doing. Started Gonal-F and Lupron on Monday night. First time for both, though not first time with the needles. I gotta say, I did things the hard way (isn’t that always the case?). The Gonal pen and microdose Lupron needles are pathetically tiny! I guess I should be thankful I started with PIO because compared to those suckers, Gonal and Lupron are nothing.
4. Though, my Lupron injection site itches and turns bright red after injecting. Is this normal? Only lasts a tiny while and I haven’t really had time to think about it or ask about it.
5. And I haven’t had time because life is kicking my ass right now. That relaxing post-injection, I’m doing the hard core stuff now so I should get some pampering I’ve been dreaming of? Yea, not so much. After round one with the stimmies on Monday we had to paint our bathroom. If we didn’t get the entire room primed and painted between noon on Monday when the drywaller left and 8am Tuesday when the contractor returned, then we would be delaying the project. Happy three day weekend!
6. But at least round two of needles was relaxing, right? Mr. But IF agreed to help a friend move from her second floor apartment into an above-a-garage loft last night. I hefted boxes at the old place, hefted boxes at the new place, ran home to shoot up while waiting for the pizza to arrive, got a text from Mr. But IF to bring back some beer, and returned to the loft with the emergency beer I couldn’t drink in tow only to find our hungry hard-worked friends had scarfed down the pizza. One cold, sad piece with onions remained. Thanks, Mr. But IF for saving me some.
7. In other news, my gluten-free, low-carb, high protein diet is going absolutely swimmingly. <roll>
8. But, never fear, the obligatory picture of all my meds will appear as soon as I can find them all. The un-refrigerated ones used to live in my upstairs bathroom. We no longer have an upstairs bathroom. I found the Lupron and the sharps container, but the Lovenox, PIO, HCG, and Crinone remain a mystery.
9. I’m doing a lot of fucking drugs right now. And will be doing even more in the future. Synthroid, Metformin, pre-natal, baby aspirin, vitamin D, vitamin B12, vitamin B6, l-methylfolate, Gonal-F, and Lupron, with HCG, PIO, Crinone, and Lovenox to come after I ovulate.
10. There’s one med I won’t be doing. The Prednisone that was recommended by my RI.
11. I’ve parted ways with my RI. It’s like a really painful breakup in a way, so oddly difficult to talk about. Really, it’s not him, it’s me. I still trust his knowledge and experience a million times more than I trust local Dr. Soulpatch, but I can’t afford him right now. His office called to collect their $1,250 cycle management fee yesterday and I just couldn’t pull the trigger. Fact is, we are already doing almost everything he has recommended to us with the local doctor we have insurance coverage for. And, those things that we are doing are largely new to us. And, as any infertile will tell you, many times when you start again with a totally different plan of attack, you find some hope again that you thought you’d lost long ago. In 3.5 years, I’ve never done injects, I’ve never done Lovenox, and I’ve never done HCG and PIO support immediately after O, so those are all promising new avenues to try. The only recommendation our RI made that our RE won’t consent to is Prednisone, and, at this stage of the game, I can’t justify $1,250 for Prednisone, some blood work, and a few rushed emails. Still, it’s a terrible feeling to feel like you are nickle and diming at the very real risk of a fourth miscarriage.
12. On the flip side, I had just about the best ever appointment at Soulpatch’s office on Monday. Despite the holiday, they took me back on time, treated me with respect and patience, and the NP (one I’ve never had before) actually sounded like she knew what I was talking about and didn’t try to aggressively push me into IUI like all her sisters in arms always do. Sometimes I think they are always on their best behavior when Mr. But IF is with me. I swear, other times they are truly clueless bitches, Mr. But IF! You believe me, right?
13. Oh well, doesn’t really matter. I can soothe away my stresses in my new shower. Hey guys, I can take a SHOWER in my HOUSE! The floors are still made of plywood, there is no lighting, no shower door (we’ve got a temporary curtain), no window coverings (thankfully, window faces our backyard), no toilet or sink, and nowhere to hang towels, set clothes, or store glasses, but I’ll be damned! I took a shower in my house this morning for the first time in a month!
And, I think it’s high time we end a post on an up note. To review, I have a shower, I have needles, I have a headache, I have one less doctor, and we have a plan. I return to the RE on Friday for my first monitoring (CD8 after 4 days of stimming) and we move on from there!