What hath IF wrought

It’s Wednesday and time for your weekly dose of bullet points.

Yesterday’s post was rough.  Not gonna lie, that one stung.  And maybe wasn’t the most appropriately timed seeing as Mr. But IF and I have been dealing with the heavy load of his uncertain employment situation.  Since I dragged us up here for my new position, he’s only been able to find a 6 month contract job, and that contract ends in June.  Nothing like adding even more uncertainty to an uncertainty-define IF life, right?

So, anyway, I thought I’d lighten it up some today.  Without further ado I bring you “Things I can’t believe I’ve done and will likely do again.”

  • Places we’ve had to have baby-making sex:
    • My childhood home (in my parents old bed — yes, the one in which I was likely conceived).
    • In our home with mother-in-law downstairs.
    • On vacation with in-laws.
    • While at professional conferences.
    • Oh, and one interesting discovery that has resulted from compiling this list — All three of my miscarriages were conceived away from home.  Wait, what?  So much for stressed, time-sensitive, we gotta do this now, sex not being conducive to getting knocked up, eh?
  • Place I’ve peed on sticks (home pregnancy tests (HPT) and ovulation predictor strips (OPK)):
    • Work… a whole lot of work.  Two different universities, various buildings, and at least two dozen different stalls.  Each time I threw a stick away (especially the hundreds of negative HPTs) I had to wonder what the cleaning lady would think when/if she found it.  It made me indescribably angry that she’d probably assume that the undergrad that left it there left enormously excited to see a single pink line.
    • Restaurant bathrooms.
    • Hotel bathrooms.
    • Friends’ bathrooms.
    • Family’s bathrooms.
    • I’ve also learned that if you set your iPhone to stopwatch instead of timer you can watch the clock tick up to 3 minutes (or 5 minutes) and avoid having your timer alarm start ringing behind the stall door in a crowded public restroom.
  • Things I’ve peed into in order to dip sticks:
    • Work coffee cup (eh, forgot my pee cup at home and needed to know!).
    • Giant red solo cup (hard to miss that one).
    • Dixie cup (preferred method).
    • The package the test comes in (if you can manage it, this one is brilliant!)
  • Embarrassing n00b things I’ve tried:
    • Grapefruit juice.
    • Pineapple core.
  • Less embarrassing, but still totally out of character things I’ve tried:
    • Acupuncture.
    • Visualization.
    • Umm, I founded a freaking support group?!
  • Places/times I’ve administered or received injections (sure to be a growing list as I’m still a relative injectable virgin):
    • At homes that are not my own.
    • From a drunk husband during our Super Bowl party (luckily my ass is huge so there was little chance the PIO needle would miss).
  • And, finally, few numbers for you
    • Times I’ve checked my cervical mucus: unfathomably large number.
    • Months I’ve tracked my basal body temperature: 33.
    • Progesterone suppositories administered: 74.
    • Clomid pills swallowed: 25.
    • Pills I swallow during maintenance/non-TTC times: 15 (currently, has been higher in past).
    • Daily injectable medications waiting at home for when we get the all clear: 5.
    • Sharps containers filled: 2.
    • Empty sharps containers in my bathroom cabinet: 2.
    • Times we’ve spent our entire FSA by mid-year in the past 3 years: 3.
    • Doctors seen throughout the journey: 9 (2 GPs, 2 OBs, 2 REs, 3 endos).
    • Surgeries: 2.
    • Blood draws (since I started tracking in 2012): 75.
    • Transvaginal ultrasounds: 43.
    • HSGs: 3.
    • Endometrial biopsies: 1.
    • Pregnancies: 3.
    • Children: 0.

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